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hotfoot jackson

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What do horses and rabbits have in common?

They can't vomit.


What's a melcryptovestimentaphiliac?

Someone who compulsively steals ladies underwear.


In Venice, Venetian blinds are known as Persian blinds.


What do gorillas and cats have in common?

Both purr.


A hibernating bear can go six months without a toilet break. (Wow)

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Gonna Be a Bear


In this life , I’m a Woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear.


When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months.


I could deal with that.


Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid.


I could deal with that too.


When you’re a girl-bear, you get to birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs.


I could definitely deal with that!


If you’re a mamma bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.


I could deal with that.


If you’re are a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.


Yup, gonna be a bear!!

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