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hotfoot jackson

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What do horses and rabbits have in common?

They can't vomit.

 

What's a melcryptovestimentaphiliac?

Someone who compulsively steals ladies underwear.

 

In Venice, Venetian blinds are known as Persian blinds.

 

What do gorillas and cats have in common?

Both purr.

 

A hibernating bear can go six months without a toilet break. (Wow)

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Gonna Be a Bear

 

In this life , I’m a Woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear.

 

When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months.

 

I could deal with that.

 

Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid.

 

I could deal with that too.

 

When you’re a girl-bear, you get to birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs.

 

I could definitely deal with that!

 

If you’re a mamma bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.

 

I could deal with that.

 

If you’re are a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

 

Yup, gonna be a bear!!

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