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Carlytrillow

Still no change in behaviour, started to feel worried :(

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Milo is still off me. I contacted another vet who said he may be feeling poorly so doesnt want to be touched and suggested trying Calpol for a few days. I have been doing this but is quite difficult when he doesnt like me approaching the cage. He did lose 3 pretty big feathers so I thought this may be true that he was feeling unwell. He was still talking so thought that was the reason he flapped when I went near the cage. On Tuesday he allowed me quite close and even took food from me to which I clicked and praised him. Then Wednesday things went back to normal and he didnt want to know again. Now he doesnt even like me putting his cover over him at night. I found a couple of articles on the internet about insecurity and phobic parrots and some of what was metioned could relate to him. For example he had a fall and it was from quite a height and I swooped to get him and this was said to be seen as me being a predator and him feeling like he was being attacked. This may be one reason why he doesnt trust me. I dont usually go straight to get him but this particular time I was quite shocked at where he attempted to fly from and he landed with quite a bump. I am really starting to feel down about this. He still responds to me when i talk to him and I go in the room avoiding eye contact which seems to work well, and continue to feed him and hes fine. It seems to be late at night that he changes. The article said it could take months to rebuild the relationship and said if serious may be damaged which has scared me as I want my boy back! I am at a loss of what to do...

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Greys can be VERY sensitive. A man near me had/has a Grey that would go to him but no other family member. He took it to the vet and, as a result, the bird now screams whenever the poor man enters the room.

Hang in there................

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Calpol?? Wow!! never heard that suggested before. Though its so low in medicinal content anyway. Full of sugar though isnt it?

 

A doctor told me once a child could drink a whol bottle of the stuff and would not require medical treatment.

 

As David says hang on in there, and keep trying. Good luck xx

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It was baby Calpol and sugar free and only 3 drops at a time! Its just liquid paracetamol. I guess he knows what hes talking about! I just wondered if anyone had any other strategies for earning trust back? I always worry that he will hurt himself more when I go near him and he thrashes around. One part of me feels ok one minute then disheartened the next but I am trying to carry on as if nothing is wrong and just do things near his cage. Sometimes he stays put when I do that as its like im ignoring him and he doesnt react. I always talk to him like I would normally and as i said he often talks back and can be quite funny. My only obstacle is that he doesnt like me reaching for the door and I desparately need to get in the cage to clear up the mess. Any suggestions?

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Guest Jane Doe

Yep I'v read calpol is safe in a parrots magazine (vets advice page) and I have given it to Cockatiels on a couple of occasions.

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Oh Carlyt, my heart goes out to you. whilst I cant offer any good advice, my grey went of hubby about a year ago and will drop to the stone like a floor rather than be touched by him (he can't fly as he has a dodgy wing)

 

It is really upsetting for hubby, but more so for Miller as he is stuck in his cage if I am not in. None of the other parrots act in this way.

 

Must be a nightmare for you seeing as no-one else is there to sort him out in the short term. Keep on in there, good luck xx

 

Rachel

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Advice? Dont have much because I have a cocatoo who is pretty much the same as me as your bird is with you, although it depends on her mood.

 

Advice..... do NOT show your reaction of dissapointment. He will pick up on that same reaction each time and build on it... you know that parrots/routine/reaction thing they have going on?!

 

Try to always appear cheerful at all times, lots of loving words wherever you are in the room or near his cage. If your just sitting or tidying up keep the talking up, lots of "good boy's" and "I love you's"... I do this with Pixie even if she has her devil head on I never ever change my mood to suit her. Its a very very long battle but you will get there because you are determined.

 

Is he taking hand treats okay from you or is that a no go to?

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He was taking hand treats from me on Tuesday which I was really happy about as I thought that was a mjor improvement. HOwever Wednesday was a different day and I went to give him a treat and he backed off. Very weird. Yesterday he was full of beans but I didnt chance it as I didnt want to be back at square one again. He didnt like me putting his cover on so I guess I did the right thing. Last night though he was very tired and sat quietly yawning most of the time so I put him to bed early. I was worrying though as is that a bad sign when they sit quietly? This is where I'm stuck as hes still eating playing and talking in his cage so didnt think there was anything that wrong if you know what I mean, just that hes afraid of me for some reason.

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Hi, I remember reading about avoiding swooping down on a bird when it has just crashed to the ground. I'd actually forgotten about that. I guess while still shaken up by the fall, this could be scary.

If you think that could have caused it, please don't feel bad about it. Just use it to help you to understand his problem.

 

I'm sure it will be possible to get his confidence back, just try not to give yourself any time limits, in case you don't meet them and it makes you feel depressed. Rather think of it as a stage in your life with him. There will be lots more stages to come. They are like children!

 

Don't worry about the way he doesn't want to be covered up. I had a rosella who hated being covered up at night. She would go into a big panic as soon as she saw the cloth approaching.

The vet told me that as long as the cage was in a dark room and was shielded from the lights of passing cars etc a cover wasn't necessary, and in fact he worried about airflow inside cages during hot summer nights, so he approved of not covering up birds.

I stopped covering her up - that was fine - but then she started going into a big panic as I approached my grey's cage with his cloth!!

So I stopped covering him up, she was fine, and he didn't seem to miss it at all.

 

If he does change as the evening wears on maybe it would be an idea to avoid going near him then. Just talk to him from a distance, and if you aren't covering him up you could leave him to himself for the whole evening.

Just go through the gentling techniques during the daytime.

 

Does he get about 12 hours uninterupted peace and dark each night?

 

As he's feeling nervous just try to never be above him while he's in his cage. He'll feel more secure if he's level with your head, or maybe a little higher. It can be painful walking with bent knees but worth doing!

Always feed him treats with your hand below his head too.

 

I'm sorry he's making you sad and worried at the moment, but you will get him back, just give it time, be very patient, and go slowly...

 

hugs xxx

 

Oh, and edited to ask if the clothes you wear make a difference. Is there a pattern there? (Can you remember what colour you were wearing when he crashed to the ground?)

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A "last resort" modus operande for a situation such as this is "change". The opposite of what you probably think is best.

By change, I mean, cage moved to somewhere different, cage toys and cage furniture, including perches and feed bowls, moved to different positions. Nothing to drastic and stressfull, but just enough change to give your bird more immediate things to think about than past experiences.

It's kind of like "starting over" thing, but if this stratagy is considered, you must "know your bird". eg, if he/she is the type that is scared of new toys, don't change them, just move them around the cage to a different place.

I'm not sure how/why this sometimes makes things take a positive turn, it may be that the only thing that hasn't changed is you and your voice so the bird kind of attaches himself to it as it's the only safe and familiar thing he has in this strange new world.

I do feel that the above is 100% a last resort thing, and not always succesful, and owner has to decide if this is better than the alternatives.

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Thankyou for all your advice it has been a huge help and I have really tried hard today to continue as i normally would with him. I tried to get in the cage today to clear it up but he bent down and squaked at me so I backd off talking nicely as I did so and then went out of the room. I came back in and talked to him again and he seemed a lot more perky with me and responded a couple of times. I wish I had bought a more effective cage! I am worried about the fruit rotting and starting to smell. I hope it wont too much until he feels he can let me in. He did let me in the other day but perhaps it was too soon and thats why hes squaking again at me. One part of me wants to just go in there and do it but I dont want him to thrash around and make him feel even more wary of me. Hes responding to me at the moment as I'm out of the room typing this. I go into the room and bend down at the bottom of his cage and hes a bit anxious at first but he is curious and looks at me on his perch and has even started to come a bit closer to where I am which I see as a positive. But I dont push it once hes done that I get up slowly and walk out to give him some time to reflect. I am so glad I have all of you to talk to you have been a great help to me and I will persevere and sorry to keep on as I do!

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Oh you have that cage problem going on where you have to get in it to clean it..... can you just nip in and scoop up the rotton bits and sneak out again? Dont worry too much about it though, as long as you get the majority of it out for now.

 

Keep doing what you are doing with the bending down and everything, sounds like he is showing a positive interest in that :)

 

And keep smiling.... it always helps xx :):):):):)

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No Ive tried to just nip in but as soon as I approach the door hes off squaking at me as if so say 'Go away!' so I have to back off. I just dont want him to thrash around and crash to the floor again. As I said earlier I was tempted to just go for it but I want to try and build his trust first.

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Sorry I havent been on here for a while I have been busy working on gaing Milos trust back! Things have improved slightly but then he has good days and bad days. He is still really freaked out about me opening the door. I had a friend come over and help me rearrange his cage so that it was easier for me to clean him out but that was certainly an ordeal for me and Milo. He went mental and ended up hurting his wing.

 

But strangely things have improved since that night! My friend has dealt with parrots longer than me and he seemed to calm after a while when she didnt back away. He was more chatty and moved around a lot more and tolerated me being nearer the cage. I have been going up and placing nuts on his perch and as soon as I turn my back he has them! He very nearly took one from my hand.

 

I am pleased hes a lot more chatty he speaks when I'm in the room although he only ever says one word and thats 'alright' but at least its something! I feel more positive now even though he is still very nervous and it is definately more evident at night around 5 when it gets dark but I can't place my finger on it. I wondered if it was just seasonal? I cant remember what he was like this time last year but I had only just got him then.

 

He's had a bit of a flap this morning when I tried to get his toy out for cleaning but I persevered even though the noise was horrible but I kept talking to him. I just hope he doesnt hurt himself when he does that! He has lost a few feathers but all from his bad side not sure if thats good or bad. It does look a lot better since the tatty ones have fallen out. I keep thinking this could be another reason for his behaviour as he might be losing and growing new ones. I have got some calming drops that I have been putting in his water but he is not stupid and can sense its there! Hes meant to have 3 doses a day but barely get one in him! Thats why I posted a thread abot chamomile tea, might give that a go.

 

Anyway I'm waffling on! I am still trying anyway so fingers crossed.

Just slightly nervous about Christmas approaching...

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